Getting Older

Farrah Fawcett was 62. Young, to me. Michael Jackson - - really young. I'm 66 and I'm an ageist. It's like being a sexist in that I make assumptions about people because of their age (just so I'm not being confusing - not because of their sex or gender). Very narrow-minded, I know.

I'm surrounded by people in their 20s, 30s and 40s. At work, at home, in various activities, they're all young. They talk "facebook" - I don't understand most of the abbreviated lingo, let alone what people are saying when they tweet. I struggle, still, with computers. Adding phone numbers to my BlackBerry- can't figure it out. And just what is the difference between CDs and DVDs. I still use an actual film camera - but I'm getting ready to buy a digital camera.

Anyone remember carbon copies - real ones, made with carbon paper in typewriters - that's BEFORE Xerox and photocopying, before faxing, before emails. I know this is boring to talk about, but it's also amazing how some things change so quickly. But we still send our children to die in wars, so some things don't change. And we still fall passionately, madly in love.

I used to look younger than my years - and looking youthful has become my final vanity (unless there's something else to be vain about that I don't know). But lately, I feel old. My muscles and joints ache and I have wrinkles and am starting to get those jiggling arms and chest wrinkles. (This is more than anyone needs to know.)

You're wasting your time if you are vain about physical attributes - whatever, great upper arms, great abs, beautiful hair - they'll all go. You're wasting your time if you are vain about accomplishments - someone else will best you, someone else is smarter and wiser and - here's the really annoying thing - more modest, humane, compassionate, good. And then your memory goes and you're not so smart anymore, either.

I never watched Charley's Angels (ok - maybe once) but I'll miss Farrah. She was so vulnerable, I guess like Marilyn Monroe. I wish Farrah had married Ryan. Michael Jackson was a fantastic performer - but I won't miss him. We have lots of film of him doing the Moonwalk. But I'll miss all the years that are gone. Mostly, though, I'm glad for all the days that are left - and curious about what bizarre, amazing, brilliant, soul-expanding thing will happen next and next and next.

RIP, Farrah. And Michael.